Inmydreamitwasverydark,andwhatdimlighttherewasseemedtoberadiatingfromEdward'sskin.Icouldn'tseehisface,justhisbackashewalkedawayfromme,leavingmeintheblackness.NomatterhowfastIran,Icouldn'tcatchuptohim;nomatterhowloudIcalled,heneverturned.Troubled,Iwokeinthemiddleofthenightandcouldn'tsleepagainforwhatseemedlikeaverylongtime.Afterthat,hewasinmydreamsnearlyeverynight,butalwaysontheperiphery,neverwithinreach. Themonththatfollowedtheaccidentwasuneasy,tense,and,atfirst,embarrassing. Tomydismay,Ifoundmyselfthecenterofattentionfortherestofthatweek.TylerCrowleywasimpossible,followingmearound,obsessedwithmakingamendstomesomehow.ItriedtoconvincehimwhatIwantedmorethananythingelsewasforhimtoforgetallaboutit—especiallysincenothinghadactuallyhappenedtome—butheremainedinsistent.Hefollowedmebetweenclassesandsatatournow-crowdedlunchtable.MikeandEricwereevenlessfriendlytowardhimthantheyweretoeachother,whichmademeworrythatI'dgainedanotherunwelcomefan. NooneseemedconcernedaboutEdward,thoughIexplainedoverandoverthathewasthehero—howhehadpulledmeoutofthewayandhadnearlybeencrushed,too.Itriedtobeconvincing.Jessica,Mike,Eric,andeveryoneelsealwayscommentedthattheyhadn'tevenseenhimtheretillthevanwaspulledaway. Iwonderedtomyselfwhynooneelsehadseenhimstandingsofaraway,beforehewassuddenly,impossiblysavingmylife.Withchagrin,Irealizedtheprobablecause—nooneelsewasasawareofEdwardasIalwayswas.NooneelsewatchedhimthewayIdid.Howpitiful.Edwardwasneversurroundedbycrowdsofcuriousbystanderseagerforhisfirsthandaccount.Peopleavoidedhimasusual.TheCullensandtheHalessatatthesametableasalways,noteating,talkingonlyamongthemselves.Noneofthem,especiallyEdward,glancedmywayanymore. Whenhesatnexttomeinclass,asfarfrommeasthetablewouldallow,heseemedtotallyunawareofmypresence.Onlynowandthen,whenhisfistswouldsuddenlyballup—skinstretchedevenwhiteroverthebones—didIwonderifhewasn'tquiteasobliviousasheappeared. Hewishedhehadn'tpulledmefromthepathofTyler'svan—therewasnootherconclusionIcouldcometo. Iwantedverymuchtotalktohim,andthedayaftertheaccidentItried.ThelasttimeI'dseenhim,outsidetheER,we'dbothbeensofurious.Istillwasangrythathewouldn'ttrustmewiththetruth,eventhoughIwaskeepingmypartofthebargainflawlessly.Buthehadinfactsavedmylife,nomatterhowhe'ddoneit.And,overnight,theheatofmyangerfadedintoawedgratitude. HewasalreadyseatedwhenIgottoBiology,lookingstraightahead.Isatdown,expectinghimtoturntowardme.HeshowednosignthatherealizedIwasthere. "Hello,Edward,"Isaidpleasantly,toshowhimIwasgoingtobehavemyself. Heturnedhisheadafractiontowardmewithoutmeetingmygaze,noddedonce,andthenlookedtheotherway. AndthatwasthelastcontactI'dhadwithhim,thoughhewasthere,afootawayfromme,everyday.Iwatchedhimsometimes,unabletostopmyself—fromadistance,though,inthecafeteriaorparkinglot.Iwatchedashisgoldeneyesgrewperceptiblydarkerdaybyday.ButinclassIgavenomorenoticethatheexistedthanheshowedtowardme.Iwasmiserable.Andthedreamscontinued. Despitemyoutrightlies,thetenorofmye-mailsalertedRenéetomydepression,andshecalledafewtimes,worried.Itriedtoconvinceheritwasjusttheweatherthathadmedown.